natural disaster (manifesto)

for_the_con_sid_er_ation_of__others----
tiny_TYpE_line_s_of_in_de_pen_dence.
flashforward
the_mag_i_strates_SenSe_a wreck_ing_ball_in_Your_future.

holiday ham

last night sunshine learned of the majesty that is 2 girls - 1 cup.

apparently, it is conclusive to giving one bad dreams.

who would have guessed?

ps: (spoiler alert)

she's voting huckabee

yesterday my boss grilled duck breast for us at lunch.

they were disgusting -- stuffed with cream cheese and jalepenos.

while he was preparing one,

he made sure to demonstrate how you could

make it look like a black woman's vagina by simply

cutting a slit in it and pulling its "lips" back.

you're welcome.

porn fest '08

That surprised me. I checked it twice
(it's still a liar)

Thanks for the link to the site Kevbo.

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random I know but I've really been thinking about investing in something (i.e. money market, IRA, etc.) lately, but I know very little about these types of things. any tips?

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This following is pretty funny. What makes it better (if you didn't know) is that this guy Huckabee used to be the Governor of Arkansas.

the initial countdown to the rest of your life (is not here). quit wasting your time. quit being pathetic.

9:00am - 4:00pm = classes today. Lab took 2hrs. and we still didn't finish. We were making up last week's because she had a meeting. Stupid fuck. I was tired.

5:00pm - 9:00pm = painting. In a space that was not exactly what I would call "well ventilated." We weren't high at all. Nope, not at all. I felt like I was in high school chemistry huffing paint pens and sniffing the chemicals in the back.

Approx. 9:22:21 = Josh throws a full glass of ice water on me while in his car in response to me commenting on how his grandma is a GILF.

Approx. 9:36:56 = We arrive at Wal-Mart to buy me some new pants. I was terrified of future chafing. Didn't get any, but came dangerously close to getting some nice old guy, elastic banded waist, navy shorts (with 5! pockets). HKD calls. Basically hangs up on me. I would have too. I wasn't exactly "myself." Had Wendy's.

10:30pm - 11:45pm = cleaned the funeral home. at night. boo hiss rah. scary. no there were no dead people in there this time. yes, sometimes there are. no, they don't freak me out. no, i don't want to take you with me sometime. you will freak out. or you will be completely disappointed when you don't because you realize it's really nothing special at all. just a lot of hype.

12:23am = bed.

viva viagra

So my question to you is why? This comercial is horrible. When I saw it at first I nearly died laughing so hard. And then it dawned on me, why are some of these men so young? I'm not sure what I would do if my dick broke, especially at around 30. And they look so happy . . . Why? Maybe things are looking a little "up," but still man, you're on fucking VIAGRA. Things aren't that great for you, now are they? And if you thought things weren't going so well with the wife beforehand, then man, you're just screwed.

feeling a smidge dirty

Yesterday at Captain D's, where I ate like a friggin hippo, I saw this guy with a perfect porn star mustache. I wanted it so bad, but then I remembered that I can't grow one; it won't "cum" in thick enough.

bridges and benches

Today should have been Saturday. I woke up and I swear, it felt exactly like the weekend. This whole off-for-a-holiday stuff is great, but not so much in the middle of the week. I'm really confused now. Can't adjust. But at least tomorrow is Friday. I just have this really bad gut feeling that it's gonna be an extremely long day.



I talked to Sunshine today for quite a while. I made her mixed CD's, but when I got to the post office to mail them off they had closed early. So tomorrow on my lunch break I'm gonna take them. I hope you like them.



Tonight Jessica and I had video game night. We rented an old Gauntlet game for the PS2. It's called Gauntlet and the Quest for the Seven Swords or something like that. I can't really remember. Anyway, it's a blast. We were killing folks, catching things on fire, dying a whole lot, acting stupid, and getting way too into the game. Friggin awesome I tell you. Friggin awesome.



Tuesday I saw TRANSFORMERS. Effin A. Best movie ever, no matter what anyone else says. They even gave me a free comic book. I love these people. They just have no idea, really.



Yesterday I went over to Josh's and shot off some fireworks. Artillery shells mostly. The big ones. Later on though, Jordan and I got an idea: we decided to make a short film. We are using action figures as characters. It's gonna be another one of those "shows about nothing" . . . you know, a combination of Seinfeld and That 70's Show. Awesome. As of right now we're gonna make it with nothing but still shots. Very time consuming, but it'll be worth it. Or if anyone wants to loan us a video camera worth anything give me a call or email. Oh and feel free to give any show suggestions.



I really wanted a Transformer to be one of the main characters, so we went to Wal-Mart to find one. I found this really cool Bumble Bee (the camero guy) [hold gay comments, please], but after I got into this really serious fight with its box (which I won, finally) I realized that he was only for show. NOT poseable (spell?) at all. As in he does NOT move. This sucks. Especially since I can't take him back and get my $20 because the box he came in was destroyed. Oh and for the record I did go back and look at the others, and it does not say anything about him being a statue, a terrible toy, or a giant rip off.

Hasbro and I have this love/hate relationship going on.

Tommy Sullivan

October 13, 1957

to

June 3, 2007

I hate that things ended the way they did.

You were a great friend.

You will be missed.

you can pat my benetar

so yeah, i saw her last night at riverfest. it was cool. there was nothing else to do there really, especially after experiencing coachella. saw some fish. met up with asha. nathanial, jessica, plus some more were with me too. i haven't blogged for nearly a month. it's been kinda weird. i'm literally having to force myself to write this right now. i bought Rant. the new palahniuk. not finished yet. it's good. funny as always. but the style is completely changed. the whole book is written as an interview. so it doesn't read as fast. i also bought the stanger by camus and a clockwork orange. i had spinach ravioli, lasagna, and manicotti from a new italian place called Roma in J'ville today for lunch. really cheap. everything is homemade. awesome. seriously the 2 of us (nathanial and I) ate for $13. oh and last night nathanial and i drank vodka and mango nectar while we watched Fight Club (he had never seen it -- poor sheltered, uncultured child). tonight some more will be consumed. plus i think i'm getting some vanilla rum to go with some coke. should be good. i think i'm developing a nack for this style of writing. it's probably hard to follow. sucks for you. oh and sunshine i haven't forgotten you. and katie: i like my doorknob. that house no longer exists though. it was completely demolished yesterday. it looks a lot better without it there. i'm broke and guitar center is having a huge sale on monday. josh and i are going to go drool over stuff. i want a new guitar and that vox board i posted a pic of a while back. went and saw the hourly radio and shiny toy guns the other night. the lead singer from h. radio had the exact white and off white stratocaster i want to buy. damn him. by the way check them out. they have a myspace page, but i don't want to link em. too lazy i guess. but seriously they are good. bought their cd. actually they are better live. i put in my 2 weeks at the p. a.'s office too. got a new job lined up as a graphic designer at KD Graphics. should be more fun.

COLBERT FOR PREZ!

anybody's dream home

I bought the Spider-Man 3 soundtrack today.

It had a pic of Kirsten Dunst.

Yes.

I think she is hot.

So that made me considerably happy.

A couple of days ago, I got a Spidey poster by getting the X-Large Coke at the theatre.

It's cougar's birthday. Wish her a damn good one here.

I want/need money.

I need to make a certain Toronto trip.

I need . . . I need booze.

I took 363 pictures today.

And got 317 off of Josh's comp., some of which I took, others are of me, and even more are one's I thought looked cool.

That makes for a grand total of 680 pictures.

Damn.

That's a lot.

I sort of/half-way hiked today.

Saw some great scenery (bluffs, trails, ants, rock paintings, rivers, etc.)

You should be excited.

But I'm not really sure why.

Oh, and my lunch was White Chocolate Mousse with strawberries all over it from TCBY.

It's my absolute favorite.

They have a yogurt cake there made with the same stuff.

I want to try this.

But I don't want to pay 30 dollars for a cake.

Someone told me, "Make Love Not War."

Maybe I will . . .

cat murderer

For the record, I typed this post once and then blogger went gay and shut off safari, etc. Not cool.

I'm reading Kings of Infinite Space by James Hynes right now (thanks Brandon). It's really, really good. Even made me laugh out loud a few times.

A day or two ago I was working on the John & Elena story, when I noticed I was actually starting to write like Hynes some; comedic relief within a tense scene to break it up a little. Somehow I worked in a huge reference to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory as well. Maybe I ate some shrooms.

There was a Gerber Baby commercial on TV a minute ago ( inbetween the Price is Right and all of the soaps). The song they had for it was amazing. Somewhere between the Napoleon Dynamite title track and Hot Chip. Effin Awesome. I tried to find it on YouTube, but no such luck. The portion they had didn't have any words, but I'm thinking it does.

Friday night I was suppose to go get trashed with some friends. I backed out at the last minute. I guess I just felt like being alone (I am allowed an emo moment every now and again, everyone else seems to get one). So I stayed home, washed some towels (so I could actually take a shower), watched The 300, "found" some vodka, bought some mango nectar, and went to town. Alone.

speed bleeder makes bleeding easy!

the above comes from a brake pad comercial in a mag I saw today



I'm in love with the above. Her voice especially on the song "empty" completely turns me on. but this is my favorite video of theirs.

oh and for the record, Crest toothe paste is awesome. it gets the taste of feet out of your mouth.


Public Service Announcement: due to an amazing amount of harassment from HKD I'm going to try my best to start posting more often. I'm not going to say that I'll do one everyday or anything like that though because as soon as I do I'll fuck things up.

and now I really want some sea salt and malt vinegar kettle cooked chips.

erin made me take acid

So, you see, these seagulls here, they have an accent. I think they're from Brooklyn or something. They come from the coast of Lake Erie. If you go there though, look out! They'll steal your food. I mean, they're swift like that, man. So just watch your back. Lord knows you gotta eat.

But there's some down here too. Seagulls i mean. They have a southern accent though, but I bet you coulda guessed that yourself. Oh and they're, they're nicer . . . much nicer. They won't steal your food. But they might ask you for it. They might say, "Can I have sum of that therre foooood you gought in that therre bag. Only if you ain't gonna eat et." Their favorite is duck, but they don't get it much. Make sure if you do give em some duck that you don't tell em what it is. Ducks and seagulls don't along so it would make them all have big heads and they might explode. That would be a bloody mess. Unless you wanna clean it up. If that's the case, then feel free. Have a ball. Send me pictures. The fridge is looking kinda bare these days, y'know?

xxxxxx

going crazy

Listen to: The Kin
Jets Under Fire

And Ooo Ooo I forgot this. Blonde Redhead's new album is preview(able) at myspace. You have to check that shit out.

This is what I do all day at work now. Find bands on myspace. Listen to their music. Find bands on youtube. Watch their videos /slash/ listen to their music. It seems entertaining, and it is for awhile, then i want human contact. but it doesn't come for a real long time. today jessica and i are going to lunch at 1:30 because she has class and i'm nice guy. It's 11:23 and I'm already hungry though. This sucks. But I think I might have a pop-tart around here somewhere. Pray. Especially you Shaz. Thou art blessed.

just one question

Last night, after church, I was talking to a couple of my friends when, from out of nowhere, this latino kid named Bonifosio came up to me and said, "I have a quick question for you. What does circumcision mean? It doesn't translate."

I looked at him and just stood there for a minute. I had to make sure he was serious -- he was.

this is dumb

3 things that scare me:
(mad fat black women)
(men with herpes)
(the way i think -- sometimes)

3 people who make me laugh:
(brandon)
(erin)
(dad -- corny jokes, ie. dead guy pizza)

3 things i love:
(music)
(seinfeld)
(anticipation of concerts)

3 things i hate:
(my car’s cd player / lack thereof)
(screaming children)
(when empty cereal boxes are put back on the shelf)

3 things i don't understand:
(why an english / creative writing major has to have math)
(why they play porno music, circa 1970’s, at wal-mart)
(why screaming is used as a vocal)

3 things on my desk:
(a giant light bulb)
(dr. distorto effect pedal)
(rolled up james dean poster)

3 things i'm doing right now:
(watching seinfeld)
(being lazy)
(procrastinating -- two papers need to be written)

3 things i want to do before i die:
(backpack across ireland)
(go on tour)
(act)

3 things i can do:
(play guitar)
(pat my head and rub my stomach simultaneously)
(eat a pound and a half of chicken, plus veggies and dessert and still be hungry)

3 things i can't do:
(watch reality tv)
(live without cheesecake)
(miss coachella)

3 things you should listen to:
(stars of track and field)
(the arcade fire)
(lovedrug)

3 things you should never listen to:
(me)
(anyone that drops acid)
(a man that has to use both a belt and suspenders to hold up his pants)

3 things i'd like to learn:
(how to make a movie)
(how to use a manual camera)
(everything)

3 favorite foods:
(chicken chimichanga)
(chicken fettuccini )
(bacon cheeseburger with ketchup only)

3 beverages i drink regularly:
(lemon-berry slushes from sonic)
(sweet tea)
(*insert alcoholic beverage here*)

12 shows i watched as a kid:
(batman)
(x-men)
(spiderman)
(he-man)
(voltron)
(transformers)
(thundercats . . . ho!)
(space ghost coast to coast)
(justice league)
(pirates of dark water)
(scooby-doo)
(speed racer)

Check out Travis' new single:

(fortune squared divided by the square root of pi mulitiplied by __________)))))))))))))

So I read Kevbo's site today and found that somehow he was conned into some kind of personality test. Well, seeing how I'm currently bored and really have nothing better to do, I took the test as well. Without further ado:

You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you - putting up barriers, but don't be unduly concerned: you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.

In actual fact you are not willing to exert yourself in any way. You have that truly 'laid back' attitude and are unwilling to extend yourself or exert undue effort. You feel that to move forward - be it in your life style or in business relationships - would require more energy output than you are prepared to give at this time. You want to take life easy and your attitude is such that 'Enough is Enough'.

For some time now it would seem that you have been frustrated and emotionally inhibited. The circumstances which appear to be beyond your control are making it very difficult for you to develop the detached emotional attitude that you seek.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.

(?)

I found out today that I have a Concepts of Fitness test, an Algebra test, a US Gvt. test, and a Spanish test on Monday. I can't wait. I got off on my dates again this week, but I caught myself and figured out that I had another quiz in english. I got a 100 on it. Oh and that paper I had to rush to do . . . I made a 100 on it as well.

(?)

Thanks Sunshine. Your post a few days ago (the fiction) inspired me a bit. I sat in my car tonight and wrote about 5 pages. I haven't done that in forever. Hopefully it's a start back into a "writing groove."

taco hell

Today I got a really weird craving for taco bell. So I went. The hot sauce packet told me, "At night the Sporks pick on me." I didn't know non-human objects (redundent?) could be emo. Go figure.

Frankly, things are extremely lame lately. Especially at work. Watching evidence tapes is so much fun. Meh. And these are really a blast because it's 30 individual 24hr surveilance tapes at the police station -- all kinds of excitement.

Oh and I got off on my dates and missed a 50pt quiz in english this week. And yesterday afternoon I realized I had a paper due that night. So yeh that sucked. Hopefully I did good on the paper. And by that I mean I hope I paraphrased some idiot's essay good enough to get the grade I want, while still sounding like I wrote it. Never, I repeat, Never take an online class.

Quick update: everything for Coachella now has the green flag. Well, everything except for Erin's plane ticket.

i present you with a present: part un

I was gonna talk about the weekend, but i'm hungry and i have a practice in a few. Please, restrain your disappointment.

yum-o

So about 11:00pm tonight I got hungry. I go to the fridge -- can't find anything. I go to the freezer -- nothing really there either. Then as I'm closing the door I see a microwavable faux chinese rice-in-a-box dinner. Angels rejoice! Anyway, so I heat it up etc. blah blah whatever. So I take a bite and it's ok. Nothing special, but definetely edible. Then I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life -- I looked at it. This stuff looks like that wet dog food stuff. It had "steak" in it so I'm sure you can imagine. Then suddenly I realized I wasn't very hungry anymore. But I ate it anyway.

?????

Insomnia has come back. I'm not handling it as well right now though. Very cranky/grumpy/(you choose).

?????

An old friend from high school called me up tonight. We grew up together. Both my K and 1st grade years were spent at a private school in Little Rock. She went to the same place. The summer before my 2nd grade year I moved to Lonoke. She did too. Kinda weird. She called because she wanted to have sex. She said, "Seth, Craig and I broke up on Monday and I fucked Jack (fake name) on Friday, but I've really been wanting to get laid ..."

Obviously she was VERY upset about the whole loss.

And I actually TURNED HER DOWN. Simply put ... I didn't want to go fishing and actually catch something.

?????

Ok, ok enough procrastination. I have to get this paper written for US Gov. But I really don't want to ... any takers?