yesterday i worked from 8am - 12:30am.
that's 15.5hrs.
i overslept and completely missed my sociology class this morning.
and i didn't get my homework finished either,
not that i'm really complaining about that part.
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sometimes i have fantasies in which i'm involved in a car crash.
they vary;
sometimes they are fatal, while other times they severely injure me.
and it's not suicidal type thoughts.
not at all.
in a way i think they are beautiful.
i want to feel the rush i attempt to associate with them.
i want to know what it feels like to experience that kind of pain.
or its absence.
there are so many things in life i have never experienced,
levels of emotion never encountered.
i wish i felt more alive.
that's 15.5hrs.
i overslept and completely missed my sociology class this morning.
and i didn't get my homework finished either,
not that i'm really complaining about that part.
------------
sometimes i have fantasies in which i'm involved in a car crash.
they vary;
sometimes they are fatal, while other times they severely injure me.
and it's not suicidal type thoughts.
not at all.
in a way i think they are beautiful.
i want to feel the rush i attempt to associate with them.
i want to know what it feels like to experience that kind of pain.
or its absence.
there are so many things in life i have never experienced,
levels of emotion never encountered.
i wish i felt more alive.
9 comments:
Crazy, I get those car crash dreams too.
well at least i'm not completely crazy then.
Might I suggest bungy jumping, a sure fire method of making one feel alive. There's nothing like the feeling you are about to die to make one feel alive.
Also recommended: flying a single engine plane. Preferably with an instructor the first few times.
Not recommended: driving a car like a crazy person, drugs.
just b/c shaz has the same dreams doesn't make you sane.
i actually think that might be a bad omen if anything!
thanks for the words of wisdom claire. i can always count on you. one problem with those things though: i'm afraid of heights. the plane might be okay, but i'm not sure.
mike: well then at least i am not alone on this issue.
arkansass
you have exactly 161 days to shape up your outlook on life before i get to introduce you to my not-so-secret-but-very-elite-team, team whoopass.
we have reaped havoc on parking meters and asses from thunder bay to toronto to edmonton and vancouver and we travel like muthafuckin stealth ninjas.
i have those thoughts a lot, too...more lately than ever before. and it's more like i want to think of how everyone will react if something like that really happens...and if the weather is bad, i think of the worst things that could happen to me while driving or something...
I guess it's kind of selfish, but I don't usually think of how others would feel if something happened to me. It's just curiosity of the unknown.
I used to be afraid of heights too.
Bungy jumping cured me.
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