I got in a very strange mood this afternoon when I got home from work. Haven't felt that way in quite awhile. I was hit with a wave of anxiety and depression. My world flipped upside down. All I could think about was drinking. I wanted to drink until I couldn't move. Until I would fall asleep. I wanted to get higher than I've ever felt. Remember when I chunked those pills HKD? It was probably a good thing. I wanted to fix a lot of things. Felt like saying things I shouldn't. Made dozens of phone calls to people I haven't talked to in a long time. Some of them in years. I didn't talk to anyone. I would hang up the phone. If they called back I would ignore it.
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I've been thinking of moving again. For college this time though. Seriously thinking about Virginia. I have family there and my cousin works at Radford College so I could get a discount to a very good school. Good writing program. Completely unlike the shit hole I am currently attending that has, unless I can figure something out, trapped me for an additional semester due to not scheduling enough classes. And only for 2 more classes -- physical science and world lit. II. I can't find a way to be able to take more than 13hrs.
The only thing I'm worried about is how it will affect me being able to travel.
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Someone cares.
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7 comments:
well, if you ever end up in virginia, there may be a random day when you happen to see me because eventually i'll be visiting family out there, and i can always see you, too!
and don't feel so bad about life. i'm always here if you want to vent like crazy.
thanks but i'd rather have a bottle of wine, vodka, jack, etc.
i love you, and i wish you would move to new york state instead because i am selfish.
now i am going to worry about you sugar.
xoxo
A bottle of wine/vodka/jack/whatever is not gonna help you. Neither are pills.
And hkd is right, move to New York. Now.
Also after reading this I take back the forgiveness I gave you for missing my call last night.
really, i think i would love to. josh and i have been talking about moving to branson for a year maybe. doing some shows and stuff. i dunno. thought it would get me away for awhile.
as much as i enjoy going to branson once, maybe twice, a year, i could not STAND to be there for an entire year.
good luck to you.
i find when i'm in that state i usually head to bed and nap away years of my life.
traveling comes buddy. i didn't backpack until i was 25. it was worth it.
and now i'm a travel-whore.
as for college...
le sigh.
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